ANNAPOLIS, Md. – "We respectfully agree to disagree" may be the mantra heard at office parties, family events and faith-based celebrations across the country this season, since emotions remain highly-charged for a lot of people after the presidential election.

With weeks of holiday gatherings ahead, Parisa Parsa, executive director of Essential Partners, says everyone needs to ask themselves if they're grounded enough to resist angry outbursts and frustration, and if they can listen and speak with care so they don't damage important relationships.

Parsa's tips to avoid a big conflict in social situations include recognizing the signs of polarization, agitation and strong emotion before they get out of control; practicing ways of speaking, listening and asking questions that foster sincere curiosity; and avoiding the pattern of "attack and defend."

According to Parsa, avoiding political conversations for now might be a good idea if people are feeling tense – but eventually, everyone should be able to talk about it.

"Long-term, it does our democracy, our families and ourselves a big disservice not to go to the tough stuff," she explains, "because those deeply-held values and positions come out of our personal experience."

Joan Blades agrees. She co-founded Living Room Conversations after co-launching MoveOn.org in 1998 in the wake of President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Blades encourages conversations with those who have a different opinion. She points out that debate is very beneficial.

"When we fail to talk to people with different viewpoints and just talk to people that think like us, we actually make our own viewpoints more extreme," adds Blades. "That's a disaster for having a successful democracy."

Parsa very much agrees. "When we reduce someone to their political positions, we're not able to see them fully, and we're losing out on the opportunity to relate around other things that are common concerns. When we're seeing each other in stereotypes, we're putting ourselves in a box as well."

While arguing about viewpoints doesn't usually change anyone's mind, Parsa points out that you can't have a full relationship with someone unless you can talk things out.

The late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg developed a globally recognized four-step approach to nonviolent communications: "Observe & recap," "Describe emotions, not positions," "Identify needs," and "Make a request."

Rosenberg's work is widely taught and shared through the Center for Nonviolent Communication; another rich source for information is the National Coalition for Dialogue & Deliberation.




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Prison policy advocates are urging West Virginia lawmakers to put an end to "prison gerrymandering," which they said distorts political representation in districts with correctional facilities.

The problem stems from a Census Bureau practice of counting people in prison as part of the district where they are incarcerated rather than in their home district.

Mike Wessler, communications director for the Prison Policy Initiative, said state officials need to take action to change the policy before the 2030 Census.

"It gives communities that have prisons a much louder voice in government," Wessler explained. "It's taking a little bit of political power from just about everyone and giving it to a handful of communities that are benefiting overwhelmingly."

Wessler pointed out some areas, such as District 83 in Preston County, count as much as 18% of their population from correctional facilities, leading to unequal political power. He noted other states have successfully passed legislation to resolve the problem.

Wessler stressed the problem also affects local governments when they draw county or city voting districts based on the skewed Census results. He added in Charleston, certain wards have inflated populations due to the presence of nearby correctional facilities.

"Changing how incarcerated people are counted wouldn't actually change anything else in state policy," Wessler emphasized. "If West Virginia ended prison gerrymandering, it would make sure that people have an equal say in government regardless of their proximity to a prison."

He underscored the practice disproportionately affects Black residents, who are incarcerated at higher rates, resulting in their voices being silenced in their home legislative districts.


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A new lawsuit is challenging Maryland's closed primary system. If the lawsuit is successful, nearly a million Marylanders may be able to vote in upcoming primaries.

Unaffiliated voters signed up as neither a Republican nor Democrat when they registered to vote, but in Maryland, that means they can't vote in primary elections.

Jeremy Gruber, senior vice president of the Open Primaries Education Fund and a plaintiff in the lawsuit, said states must expand primary election access to independents because the vast majority of general elections aren't competitive.

"This lawsuit is meant to address a situation where publicly funded and administered elections - which primaries are - are shutting out American citizens," he said. "We cannot continue to call ourselves a democracy when we allow that to continue to happen."

Supporters of closed primaries argue the system makes sure only dedicated members of a political party vote for a nominee, and they also prevent efforts from an opposing party trying to influence another party's nomination process. Maryland is one of 15 states with closed primaries.

In recent years, Colorado, Alaska and New Mexico have all changed their primary process. Gruber argued that if the government is going to run primary elections, then it must ensure all people are allowed to participate. He said closed primary systems are a voting-rights issue.

"Maryland is well behind the rest of the country in recognizing and empowering independent voters," he said. "This is a voting-rights issue that has to be addressed in Maryland. When a million voters can't vote, that is a crisis."

In 2024, 17.6 million voters were barred from voting in primaries because of their unaffiliated or independent status on voter rolls. According to the Bipartisan Policy Center, average voter turnout was nearly 20% higher in open primary states compared with closed primary states.


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The weekend assassination of Minnesota lawmaker Melissa Hortman is seen by many as a setback in recruiting future civic leaders who seek out bipartisanship.

One organization doing this work said it is still possible. Hortman was often credited for a being a fierce advocate for causes aligned with her supporters but also for striking compromises serving as House Speaker in the State Legislature.

Jake Loesch, executive director of the nonpartisan, nonprofit Citizens League, said training people how to work with elected officials from the "other side" is a key part of their programming. He acknowledged it might be hard for the public to see but there are moments where good faith bargaining wins the day.

"There are always good, bipartisan things that come out of any legislative session here in Minnesota," Loesch pointed out. "I think unfortunately, that doesn't always attract the news headlines."

Loesch's organization has a new program prompting state lawmakers to visit legislators from another party in their home community. He explained it makes it easier for them to see each other as humans, not the enemy. Loesch admitted the political system is still built around a "winner take all" approach, which often rewards partisan fights.

Loesch added if lawmakers can learn more about each other's backgrounds, a better understanding could hopefully rub off on voters and diminish the thirst for hateful rhetoric. He cautioned progress will not happen right away.

"We didn't get here overnight and it's going to take a long time to find a better level of collaboration and political understanding, and to stop attacking the other," Loesch emphasized. "There are lots of forces working against that."

He cited the overlap with social media as one such force. Meanwhile, political researchers noted besides Minnesota and a handful of other states, most legislatures in the U.S. have one-party control -- some since the mid-1990s -- making it difficult for lawmakers to gain compromise skills.


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