ANNAPOLIS, Md. – "We respectfully agree to disagree" may be the mantra heard at office parties, family events and faith-based celebrations across the country this season, since emotions remain highly-charged for a lot of people after the presidential election.

With weeks of holiday gatherings ahead, Parisa Parsa, executive director of Essential Partners, says everyone needs to ask themselves if they're grounded enough to resist angry outbursts and frustration, and if they can listen and speak with care so they don't damage important relationships.

Parsa's tips to avoid a big conflict in social situations include recognizing the signs of polarization, agitation and strong emotion before they get out of control; practicing ways of speaking, listening and asking questions that foster sincere curiosity; and avoiding the pattern of "attack and defend."

According to Parsa, avoiding political conversations for now might be a good idea if people are feeling tense – but eventually, everyone should be able to talk about it.

"Long-term, it does our democracy, our families and ourselves a big disservice not to go to the tough stuff," she explains, "because those deeply-held values and positions come out of our personal experience."

Joan Blades agrees. She co-founded Living Room Conversations after co-launching MoveOn.org in 1998 in the wake of President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Blades encourages conversations with those who have a different opinion. She points out that debate is very beneficial.

"When we fail to talk to people with different viewpoints and just talk to people that think like us, we actually make our own viewpoints more extreme," adds Blades. "That's a disaster for having a successful democracy."

Parsa very much agrees. "When we reduce someone to their political positions, we're not able to see them fully, and we're losing out on the opportunity to relate around other things that are common concerns. When we're seeing each other in stereotypes, we're putting ourselves in a box as well."

While arguing about viewpoints doesn't usually change anyone's mind, Parsa points out that you can't have a full relationship with someone unless you can talk things out.

The late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg developed a globally recognized four-step approach to nonviolent communications: "Observe & recap," "Describe emotions, not positions," "Identify needs," and "Make a request."

Rosenberg's work is widely taught and shared through the Center for Nonviolent Communication; another rich source for information is the National Coalition for Dialogue & Deliberation.




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BROOKLYN, N.Y. -- Some New Yorkers are voicing concerns about the creation of not one, but two draft maps for congressional, State Senate and Assembly voting districts. The groups are asking the public to weigh in on the redistricting process, to ensure the revised maps properly represent constituents.

Asher Ross, director of the "Mapping Our Future" campaign for the New York Immigration Coalition, said in a virtual discussion this week, the move runs counter to the Independent Redistricting Commission's mission: to deliver one set of maps that are nonpartisan and fully inclusive of public input.

"This process has not worked so far, to this point," Ross asserted. "And it's very troubling about where it's going to go from here, and the commission's ability to deliver fair maps."

He pointed to Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, where members of the Arab community advocated to keep their neighborhood from being split up, but do not see their input reflected in the draft maps.

Ross pointed out hundreds of people have already turned out at public hearings. There is still time to submit testimony or attend public hearings, which start again Oct. 20.

In some cases, public input has enhanced representation, such as with Asian American communities in Brooklyn and Queens.

Carlyn Cowen, chief policy and public affairs officer for the Chinese American Planning Council, noted redistricting has not served Asian American communities well in the past. She said even though they represent 10% of the state's population, and 15% in New York City, it is not reflected among elected officials.

"The representation that we have on the state and congressional level is less than 3% at either level, which means that people are not necessarily being represented by people who look like them and represent their interests," Cowen observed. "There are so many urgent issues that our community is facing."

The Independent Redistricting Commission must submit its final maps to the Legislature by Jan. 15. Cowen said it is vital they understand the importance of where neighborhood lines are drawn.

"The idea of fairness in redistricting is not really about partisan; Democrat, Republican," Cowen contended. "It's actually about making sure that we are all represented by our districts, and that we're upholding the Voting Rights Act."

BISMARCK, N.D. -- North Dakota lawmakers in charge of redistricting have approved a preliminary draft of new legislative boundaries, but voters' advocates said a lot is being done without as much public input as they'd like.

The latest version of the map was approved by the Republican-controlled redistricting committee Thursday. The panel has been meeting this month, with residents able to testify in-person or virtually.

Rick Gion, communications and policy director for North Dakota Voters First, said hearings were scheduled during working hours, limiting participation.

"We are concerned about making sure that citizens are engaged in this process," Gion explained.

He contended other states offer a greater number of public hearings that better accommodate people's schedules. Gion pointed out even with late-arriving census data affecting the process, he feels things are moving too quickly.

Sen. Brad Bekkedahl, R-Williston, a member of the committee, argued the panel has done plenty to make hearings accessible, noting the public can weigh in during two more meetings next week.

Gion emphasized they're appealing for additional meetings beyond those currently scheduled. He added contrary to the wording published ahead of the process, his group feels proposed boundaries aren't being posted online in a timely fashion as constituents prepare their testimony.

"The maps are appearing during the meeting, mostly after the meetings," Gion observed. "People don't have time to review them beforehand, and go and testify."

He contended it raises questions about transparency in the overall process. Sen. Bekkedahl believes legislative staff has been moving quickly to relay the latest maps to the public.

The legislative maps are expected to be voted on by the full Legislature in a special session later this fall. The maps also need the governor's endorsement.

ORANGE CITY, Iowa -- There is no federal or statewide race this fall, but Iowa voters in many cities will still head to the polls for municipal and school elections.

County auditors hope they are informed about sweeping changes the state adopted this year dealing with voting.

In March, Gov. Kim Reynolds signed a bill, which, among other things, reduces the early voting period from 29 days down to 20. And, with a few exceptions, mail-in ballots will no longer be accepted after Election Day. They have to arrive by the time polls close that day.

Ryan Dokter, auditor of Sioux County, said without the typical barrage of campaign messaging, voters might not be aware of the changes.

"City [and] school elections tend to be a little bit lower turnout, unless there's something that really gets people excited to be voting," Dokter observed. "These kind of sneak up on people a little bit, so we're trying to get the word out as best we can."

Supporters of the GOP-backed law claimed it restored public faith in the election system, but opponents argued it will suppress votes. The law is being challenged in court by the League of United Latin American Citizens of Iowa.

Dokter is also president of the Iowa State Association of County Auditors. He noted after the law was passed, there were special elections in a few locations, but added this is the first big test auditors will face since the controversial changes took place.

"We've had some training on that from the Secretary of State's office," pointed out. "On the back end of things for county auditors and their staff, there's a lot more changes than meets the eye for voters."

He feels local election offices will be prepared to serve voters this fall.

Under the law, auditors can no longer designate special sites for early voting. It can only happen if enough voters sign a petition. Another provision enacts tougher penalties, including a felony, for auditors who aren't in full compliance with the statute.

Support for this reporting was provided by The Carnegie Corporation of New York.