When it comes to adoption, people often think of infants first, but one Alabama father is actively changing some misconceptions about adopting older teens by sharing his own experience.

More than 113,000 foster children are in need of a permanent home nationwide, and nearly half are over age eight.

Joe Toles, an adoptive parent and former foster child, understands the significance of support. He credited a college track coach for mentoring him and helping him succeed. Inspired by his experience, Toles went on to adopt and support eight boys, all teenagers.

He now shares his story as a compelling example of why more people should consider adopting older kids.

"The first thing people have to do is make the effort," Toles asserted. "I think that there's a lot of stigma about older teens. And you know, what I always say about my boys is, they came to me 'half-baked,' so I really can't undo the recipe! I just have to, you know, continue 'baking' them."

Toles emphasized establishing a strong bond and a reliable support system beyond the age of 18 has transformed the lives of his sons and himself. With 6,000 Alabama children in need of a permanent home, he highlighted the importance of education in dispelling myths about adopting older teens.

Rita Soronen, CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, agreed educating parents is the first step to changing the outcomes for the nearly 20,000 teens who face "aging out" of the foster care system each year.

She said too many people assume a teenager would be harder to connect with, when it is not the case. Her organization helps adoptive parents bridge those gaps, and she noted in the process, they may also be preventing homelessness, and minimizing a young person's chances of engaging with the justice system.

"When we adopt an older youth from foster care, we keep them from first, 'aging out' without a family," Soronen emphasized. "And second, we begin to mitigate those potential negative consequences of trying to live without a family at age 18 or 19, or 20."

Soronen believes sharing success stories like Joe Toles and his eight boys can make a difference and inspire more people to adopt.

By Melea VanOstrand for WISH-TV.
Broadcast version by Joe Ulery for Indiana News Service reporting for the WISH-TV-Free Press Indiana-Public News Service Collaboration

Inner Beauty Program Inc. and New Breed of Youth Inc. mentoring programs are preparing to host their 2024 Fight For Joy Christmas Extravaganza weekend celebration.

The event will kick off Friday with a free “guns down, gloves up” youth boxing showcase with a dinner provided.

Kareem Hines is founder and chief executive officer of New Breed of Youth’s mentoring program, also known as New B.O.Y. “We’re just using the sport of boxing to help develop character, to help develop self-confidence in these young men, to help develop maturity and their social and emotional awareness, but more importantly to have a conversation with them about what guns are doing to our communities.”

On Saturday, the annual Inner Beauty and New B.O.Y. holiday awards ceremony will highlight and affirm community leaders and young people in the organizations’ mentorship programs.

“We highlight our youth that have been doing amazing things such as our young entrepreneurs, our martial arts class. Inner Beauty has a dance and art program, so these programs are put on full display, and it gives us the opportunity to include these young people’s families.”

One-hundred fifty families with children ages 6 to 17 will participate in a toy giveaway. “Youth will be able to come in and go through four lanes, grab toys from each lane, and just revel in the Christmas spirit. It’s free. We’ll have a Santa so they can take pictures with Santa. We’ll have some really nice toys. The community and different organizations have really stepped up to the plate and provided us with funding so we can have a lot of toys for these young people.

A big ticket lane will be available for children who have a report card with all A’s and B’s. “We’re talking PlayStations, Xboxes, electric bikes, motorcycles, Beats headphones and all those things that kids like in today’s culture.”

It’s the first year that the mentoring organizations have done the toy drive. Hines says it’s important to give back this year because families in the city have experienced a lot of trauma. “We want to be that bright spot. 2024 was a tough year. Some families are not looking forward to the holiday season because of their financial situation. Some families did not have a happy Thanksgiving. We want to make sure we provide a platform and opportunity for them to usher into 2025 with a bright outlook.”

Registration for the toy drive has closed, but Hines says he aims to make it inclusive for anyone who reaches out to New B.O.Y organization.


Melea VanOstrand wrote this article for WISH-TV.


get more stories like this via email

This month marks the 25th anniversary of a federal law designed to give states flexibility in helping older kids transition out of foster care.

States such as Nebraska have updated their programs, but advocates say services are still underutilized. In 1999, the U.S. government enacted a law that gives states money to carry out independent living programs for kids in foster care, soon to be adults. But the Annie E. Casey Foundation says fewer than half of those eligible receive services.

Hope Cooper, who leads the Journey to Success campaign to raise awareness of this issue, said these kids often face a steep climb at a key stage in life.

"They faced a lot of adversity in their early years," she said, "and we have the opportunity - and we really have to meet that opportunity - to provide some really targeted, additional supports to smooth that climb."

Nebraska's program, which is voluntary, saw more than 340 young adults participate in 2022. The Casey Foundation said only about one in four successfully completed it.

National advocates have urged state and federal lawmakers to do all they can to close gaps. This past year, Nebraska opted to include youths aging out of the juvenile justice system who lack any family support.

Cooper said a range of services under these state-level programs can help with things such as job training and housing stability. Beyond the federal law, she said other forms of support have emerged.

"We're trying to create more educational stability for young people during their junior high and high school years," she said, "and creating more supports for young people as they go and pursue higher-education opportunities."

On a broader scale, she said some "fine-tuning" is needed to implement these programs, to ensure they meet their potential. A number of states have also extended foster care to youths beyond age 18 to help with these transitions. Nebraska's independent living program serves 19- to-21-year-olds.

As winter sets in, advocates are spotlighting the need for after-school programs to provide Indiana youth with safe spaces to build skills, stay engaged, and foster positive relationships.

Research shows participation in organized activities improves mental and physical health.

Tami Silverman - president and CEO of the Indiana Youth Institute - said the settings foster belonging, confidence, and resilience, reducing feelings of isolation, and promoting positive peer relationships.

"We know that social isolation is on the rise - and so, we're looking at that social isolation going up," said Silverman, "and also, the need for kids to belong. And say, 'What can we do about it? How do we counterbalance that?'"

Silverman said these activities can create safe spaces for youth to set goals, face challenges, and grow.

She added that they provide critical networks of supportive adults, especially for those lacking consistent guidance at home or school.

Silverman said physical activity through team sports improves fitness and lowers risks of obesity and related health issues.

Structured programs also help kids manage stress, avoid risky behaviors, and build a foundation for lifelong success.

Research links extracurricular participation to higher grades, better attendance, and greater college enrollment rates.

"Research, particularly from Child Trends, that talks about those activities build skills such as teamwork, communication, conflict resolution," said Silverman. "I mean, you can see how those skills could go right back into the classroom."

Advocates say addressing barriers like cost, transportation, and availability is essential to ensuring all children can participate.

They say more resources for youth programs can help Indiana create more inclusive and supportive environments.




get more stories like this via email