RICHMOND, Va. - The divorce rate in the U.S. continues to fall, but a large percentage of couples still call it quits despite their vows of "for better or worse." The reasons vary as much as the individuals involved, although experts have said there are ways to safeguard a marriage, especially when children join the family.

Marriage and family psychologist Patricia Mackie said babies and kids can bring stresses from a lack of sleep to extra expense and housework, so it is vital for the parents to be on the same page.

"If parents aren't really talking about how they're going to raise their children - if they're not talking about their style, they're not in agreement on what they're doing, whether it's attachment parenting or any other style of parenting - that's very difficult on a marriage," Mackie said.

Another key to getting through those first few years with children, Mackie said, is making sure that dad isn't left feeling like a "third wheel," as can sometimes happen.

"What research shows is that the more that dads are involved - the more they get involved in the parenting and the daily lives of their children, and playing with their kids and their wives all together - the better their marriages are," she added.

While children can bring challenges to a marriage, Mackie noted that couples with kids actually have a lower divorce rate than those without kids.

"One thing research is also showing is that couples that share a family-centered view of family life and value raising children, they're more emotionally invested in one another," she said, "and they're less prone to divorce than those couples who don't have children."

The biggest issue that marriage counselors are now seeing is technology, as more laptops, I-Pads and cell phones are adding distractions, Mackie said, even in the bedroom.

The divorce rate in America peaked at around 50 percent in the 1980s and has slowly been trending downward. It is now just over 40 percent. Virginia's divorce rate is among the lowest in the country, at 10 percent.

More information is available at http://bit.ly/WBQcLZ.




get more stories like this via email

Youth advocates continue to sound the alarm over the impact flavored tobacco products have on teenagers, and hope Minnesota lawmakers take another close look at a proposed statewide ban.

Following attempts in previous legislative sessions, a bill has surfaced to prohibit the sale of all flavored tobacco products, including menthol cigarettes, flavored cigars, smokeless tobacco and e-cigarettes.

The coalition Minnesotans for a Smoke-Free Generation said the region faces a youth tobacco epidemic.

Bethlehem Yewhalawork, program manager for NorthPoint Health and Wellness Center, said enacting proposed restrictions can prevent things from getting worse.

"Passing a comprehensive flavor policy will really prevent youth addiction and improve health for all Minnesotans," Yewhalawork contended.

According to the coalition, one in seven 11th graders in Minnesota reports using e-cigarettes, and 88% of those students use flavored products.

Proposed bans often encounter pushback from the tobacco industry and retailers. A similar ban in the city of Edina recently survived a court challenge. Currently, 25% of Minnesotans are covered by a local flavored tobacco policy.

Preethika Naveen, a senior at Eagan High School, said while overall smoking rates have declined, use of flavored tobacco is prevalent among her peers.

"Many kids use menthol chew and vape e-cigarettes. Why? Because of the flavors," Naveen observed.

Advocates also argued the tobacco industry continues to use menthol products to target Black Americans, LGBTQ communities and youth. Groups such as the Children's Defense Fund have noted early exposure to nicotine can have lasting effects on a child's brain development.

Some Indiana elementary students are getting an extra dose of emotional support in the classroom from service dogs.

Trained by the Indiana Canine Assistant Network, the dogs offer a social link to kids who may intentionally isolate themselves.

Jill Schipp, principal at West Clay Elementary School in Carmel, said kids feel an immediate bond with her dog, "Palmer," and want to pet him or read him a story. She explained service dogs are helpful for children who have trouble with fear or uncertainty, or difficulty communicating.

"I've had kids that come down that are experiencing grief or anxiety, or changes in their life, maybe kids that have made a move to a new home, and they're just upset," Schipp observed. "They're carrying big worries. Being with him, and petting him and getting dog kisses, and getting their mind off of it really, really helps."

She pointed out teachers also request visits with the service dogs during trying times, like state scholastic testing. Schipp noted she has received inquiries from other districts about the benefits of having a service dog on school grounds.

Service dogs receive special instruction and certification to address distinct needs. The dog may sense a child with a physical disability is unsteady, and let the child lean on them. Schipp added her dog is keenly aware of nonverbal communication, which is common in children on the autism spectrum.

"If they are upset, I have learned to ask the child what they need," Schipp recounted. "Some kids will say, 'I need him to sit on me.' So, I have a little mat and the child sits down, puts their legs straight out in front of them, and he sits on their lap. And they just talk to him, and he just lays there until they're calm."

Schipp thought the dogs' presence would ease students' transition back to a classroom setting after the pandemic. She began the process with questionnaires to hundreds of parents, and the majority supported the plan. She emphasized care is taken with allergic reactions or fear of dogs.


get more stories like this via email

Republican-sponsored bills and amendments in the Legislature would eliminate the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth. More than 1.5-million children live in Tennessee. TCCY said it is a critical component of keeping children's issues front and center.

Kylie Graves, policy specialist for the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth, said it was never consulted about the legislation, and the text in the amendment would remove any mention of the agency from the state code. She added that dismantling the commission will cause Tennessee to lose the only entity that works to address the well-being of children.

"So very short turnaround there, kind of a mix of trying to wrap our heads around what the amendment does, what it would mean for us to be completely deleted from code, it would mean that we would no longer exist, and all of our programs would have to go elsewhere if they were to continue, " she said.

Graves added the commission is reaching out to legislators who will be voting on the bills, explaining the value the panel brings as an independent consolidated state agency. Two measures are in play in the legislature. House Bill 330 will be presented before the House Children and Family Affairs Subcommittee today and Senate Bill 282 will go before the Senate Health and Welfare Committee tomorrow.

Graves said the commission has partnered with the Annie E. Casey Foundation's Kids Count for more than 30 years and they set up the infrastructure and collect data for reports. She noted the foundation will not partner with another non-independent state agency to do this work because of trust and reliability.

"To us, that's just another clear example of how we were not consulted on this legislation or where programs will move because the Kids Count work, including the State of the Child, the county profiles, our data center, all of that cannot go to another state agency. And so nonprofits will have to pick up that work," she added.

Graves said the commission is the only state agency tasked with looking at issues across the childhood spectrum and making recommendations to improve those systems, and added the 21-person board is made up of members appointed by the governor and can serve up to nine years. At least one member is appointed from each of Tennessee's nine development districts.