By Gabes Torres for Yes! Media. Broadcast version by Kathryn Carley for Maine News Service, reporting for the YES! Media-Public News Service Collaboration

Conversations around body positivity and body acceptance have grown over the past few years. In a way, this is progress. We are bolder in exposing and undoing fat-phobia, ableism, and other systems of body oppression that overtly and covertly exist in media, institutions, and our behaviors. There are more advertisements, clothing lines, and mainstream and social media platforms that attempt to promote body diversity.

This is long overdue, as systemic discrimination against weight, age, and different kinds of bodies in general have not only severed our own relationships with our bodies, but also have infiltrated our health care systems, pathologizing and excluding bodies that are not thin, abled, young, and White, resulting in poor quality of care. Body oppression disproportionately alienates us, specifically the bodies that do not fit the so-called standard of beauty, wholeness, and health. Capitalism and White supremacy have given us many reasons to hate our bodies, because they teach us to be ashamed of them-and to shame others.

In an article titled "Body Shame and Transformation," Sonya Renee Taylor describes the spiraling experience of body shame: "We berated and abused ourselves because we were berated and abused by others. We thought the outside voice was our own, and we let it run roughshod over our lives. And then we judged ourselves for judging ourselves, trapped on a hamster wheel of self-flagellation. Oh, honey, that is no way to live."

Shame is a social emotion and experience. It is always linked to our relationships and people's perceptions-or, rather, our perceptions of people's perceptions. Shame makes us question whether or not we truly belong as we are. Shame makes us nervously wonder about the things that make us "bad" or "wrong." In the case of body image, shame provokes us to want to hide. We hide our curves, our fat, and our softness. We hide the marks and scars that prove we made it out alive. We hide by altering the areas of our skin where our hairs grow and darker pigments reside. Shame makes us want to put a mask on.

Recent trends on social media and society at large have widely suggested that to overcome body image issues, we must be more audacious and loud about our love of our bodies. For many of us, it does help. There was a time when it was beneficial for me to publicly share my growing love for my body. I wrote and performed songs about it. I posted and tweeted selfies and images where I felt good about how I looked. It felt meaningful to resist and undermine the prevalence of Western beauty standards that made me hate my Brown, curvy body. However, the process did not help me address an inner conflict. I know I should love my body as it is, but there are days when it seems more like an abstraction-an idea that my body itself finds hard to take in. So to post about how beautiful I think my body is online sometimes feels artificial, like I'm convincing myself to believe in something that is not authentic. I feel ashamed for not having the consistency to believe the message of body positivity. I feel ashamed for having this shame. And there it goes again: the cycle of shame.

When this happens, we tend to look for ways to get rid of the body shame. Sometimes, this means seeking out what we are all socialized to do in order to solve (or hide) something: to consume. Do I need to find more body positive material and products? Do I need to hire a coach who addresses self-image? Do I need to buy more clothes and accessories that make me feel free and beautiful? The cycle of body shame continues in the allures of consumerism. Bhavika Malik shares similar observations on Polyesterzine: "The absolute and unrealistic pressure on people to love themselves transformed the body positivity movement into a toxic, profit-driven business opportunity."

In her book Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion, Jia Tolentino writes, "Mainstream feminism has also driven the movement toward what's called 'body acceptance,' which is the practice of valuing women's beauty at every size and in every iteration, as well as to diversify the beauty ideal." Tolentino explains how the diversification of what it means to be beautiful and acceptable is great, but the complexity lies in the fact that "Beauty is still of paramount importance." My interpretation of this is that for as long as beauty bears utmost importance, there will always be those who dictate the standard of beauty, and those who strive to meet these standards for the purpose of social approval. But perhaps, more specifically, meeting these standards is to remove the shame that interferes with our sense of belonging. It probably isn't body positivity that the system capitalizes on per se. It capitalizes on the shame we feel any time we do not feel like we fit in or are worthy of belonging.

In her aforementioned article, Sonya Renee Taylor discusses the interruption of the cycles of shame: the practice of radical self-love and compassion. We disrupt these systemic cycles by identifying the antidote, which is also the antithesis of what the system doles out: "The only way to beat that system is by giving ourselves something the system never will: compassion."

When was the last time you experienced compassion? Similar to shame, compassion is also a social experience. It also does not aim to produce and earn as a capitalist tool. We give and receive compassion in the context of relationships, including our relationships with ourselves. Whenever we hide, we isolate ourselves, which decreases our chances of easing the shame and disrupting its cyclical nature. It's hard to seek compassion, especially when we've been judged and rejected countless times before in our vulnerability. Even then, I'd like to believe that life is not static. Without dismissing our painful experiences, life is expansive enough to have new ones. More often than not, we take this journey of undoing shame step by step-inch by inch, even.

In taking this inch by inch, we remember the value of our bodies that transcend beyond projected and imposed standards of beauty, health, and wholeness. Taking from my earliest work, I'd like to share with you the timeless truth: "Our bodies are naturally designed to root for us. They self-heal, detect danger, connect us with others and the natural world. Our bodies invite us to rest and play in its kind and creative way. And with that, I realized that my body is not just the home I've always wanted, but the home that always wanted me."

Gabes Torres wrote this article for YES! Magazine. Torres is a psychotherapist, organizer and artist. Her work focuses on anti-colonial approaches and practices within the mental-health field. She also focuses on abolitionist organizing on a global scale. You can find most of her work on her official website, gabestorres.com, and social media platforms including Instagram. Follow her on Twitter at @gabestorres.

Skills for reducing violence are becoming essential in schools. At the beginning of the school year, students at a Washington state high school participated in a workshop aimed at doing that. The Alternatives to Violence Project mostly works in jails and prisons around the world. This time, Evergreen High School in King County was the host.

Roger Kluck, executive director, Projects for a Civil Society, the Puget Sound area organization that offers the training locally, said the COVID-19 lockdown is still affecting kids' behavior.

"The kids have lost social graces, social skills, social emotional skills," he explained. "They don't know how to get along with each other after not being in the classroom for long periods of time."

Kluck's organization was not able to offer the workshop to all 1,000 students at the high school, so it was just for ninth graders this year. To have enough staff, Kluck added they put out an international call. Three facilitators traveled from New Zealand and three traveled from Kenya to participate.

Kluck said the ninth graders were timid at first and were reluctant to answer questions in large groups, so they broke the numbers down.

"If we put them in groups of two, three or four, they really enjoyed talking to each other," he explained, "and we'd have them share what's your favorite activity? What do you enjoy doing? What's something about yourself that nobody knows?"

Kluck said the training operates under the idea that "hurt people hurt people."

"A lot of our violence prevention works in healing people from their own psychic pain and teaching them to be empathetic and compassionate, because if I see you as being like me it's much harder for me to want to do violence to you," he continued.

Kluck said his organization plans to bring the Alternatives to Violence Project again to freshmen at Evergreen High School next year.


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Over the next couple of weeks, kids across Minnesota will head back to school. Addiction specialists say now is a good time for parents to address any concerning behavior in their child's online habits. Internet addiction is not formally recognized yet in a key reference tool from the American Psychiatric Association.

But Dr. Sara Polley, Minnesota-based child & adolescent psychiatry specialist and director of addiction psychiatry at Ellie Mental Health, feels it will eventually be considered a disorder. For adolescents, being on social media too much can be harmful to brains that are still developing, she said. So, if they have been spending a lot of time online this summer, parents need to re-establish healthy habits.

"It's really helpful to discuss with your family a media plan that applies to both the children in the family and the parents in the family, with potentially specific times set aside for use of social media or use of the internet not related to completing school assignments," she explained.

She also recommended "tech-free zones" in places like the kitchen, in hopes of sparking more family conversations. If your teen becomes combative when asked to limit screen time or is becoming socially withdrawn and only prefers to be online, Polley said it is time to seek advice from a family doctor or mental health professional.

Polley added pushing above the "three-hours-a-day" mark of social media use can put adolescents at greater risk for depression and anxiety. It can also prevent them from getting a good night's sleep, making the back-to-school transition problematic.

"And when I ask young people, 'What are you doing when you're up late at night?' - nearly 100% of the time, they say that they're on their computer, they're using social media, they're watching videos on YouTube." she continued. "And that can make it really difficult for them to do what they need to do during their usual full-time job, which is going to school."

Other experts worry the effects could result in disruptive behavior in the classroom. Middle school and high school students are often sent home with tablets and laptops for school use. They might come with settings limiting what can be done online, but Polley said it is still good for parents to set their own boundaries. Those could include only allowing the devices to be used in the living room, or making sure they are placed in backpacks when homework is completed.


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Mental-health coverage and using digital devices to communicate with doctors' offices are among the health-care priorities of Generation Z. Providers are urged to make note of the needs of patients born between the late 1990s and the early 2010s. Industry researchers say like a lot of other age groups, Gen Z embraces telemedicine. But as these individuals begin to navigate adulthood, they also value apps that make it easier to schedule appointments, manage conditions and look up data.

Richelle Andrae, government relations specialist with the Wisconsin Primary Health Care Association, said more importantly, this generation wants to feel empowered when receiving care.

"I don't think a Gen Z individual is really likely to just be directed to what to do with their health care," she said. "They need that buy-in and options so that they can have a voice in the process of providing care."

She said Gen Z deserves praise for normalizing conversations regarding behavioral health amid nationwide calls to expand mental-health care and insurance plans to cover those expenses. According to Y-Pulse data, 71% of consumers in this age group say they value brands that incorporate mental health as part of their marketing.

Dr. Donald Tavakoli, national medical director for behavioral health with United Healthcare, said Z is just starting to enter the workforce. Because they report higher rates of depression, eating disorders and even suicidal behaviors, he said it is important they understand terms such as deductibles, co-insurance and out-of-pocket when signing up for plans.

"They have significant rates of mental illness, so we think it's really important that they first have their health insurance lingo down - really understanding the common terms of how to navigate health insurance," he said.

Industry experts say because they prioritize their mental health, these individuals are likely to seek out employers who offer packages with quality behavioral health coverage.

Health equity is another priority for Gen Z. Andrae said her organization, which is the member association for community health centers around Wisconsin, is trying to reduce access barriers for underserved populations, including young adults and adolescents.

"They may not have a parent or a family member or a guardian who can take them to a clinic after work," Andrae said. Maybe that parent or guardian is working multiple jobs."