Edwin J. Viera, Producer
Thursday, December 14, 2023
As political divisiveness grows, holiday gatherings at home and work can lead to increased arguments and severe relationship damage.
National organizations such as Braver Angels are working to bridge political rifts but others are taking different approaches.
Christine Miles, author of the book "What is it Costing You Not to Listen," which provides tips to navigate difficult conversations, said rather than challenging someone you disagree with, people should ask questions to understand why they stand by a certain position.
"Let that person talk more, sit back and listen to understand, seek the perspective they are coming from, and then the de-escalation begins," Miles explained. "That's not about agreement, that's just about 'where are you coming from?'"
Psychologists warned holding back your feelings when a family member makes an off-color comment can be harmful. Not speaking up can cause depression and physical health problems such as immune dysfunction, hypertension and cancer. Miles found asking questions can make your voice heard, lower tensions and decrease defensiveness.
Some people focus on changing someone's mind, which is where Miles noted arguments begin. Instead, listening can be the best way to stop a fight before it starts.
"Because if someone wants to engage you in a point of view that you don't have, they might just be looking for the argument," Miles pointed out. "If you take the bait, be careful, because that's where the damage can come in."
One strategy to reduce negative feelings politics can stir up distracting yourself from political news, but studies show detachment and other strategies can reduce people's desire to act on political causes they care about.
Miles emphasized using natural curiosity and listening to people with different opinions can strengthen bonds and educate younger family members about the value of debate. She added when trying to solve an important problem, it can be disadvantageous to engage with people who have the same worldview.
"It doesn't bring out innovation, and it really misses a lot of important points," Miles stressed. "Civic engagement is huge but we have to manage our differences by seeking to understand, rather than seeking to change minds."
Most Connecticut residents have been satisfied with Gov. Ned Lamont's work in office but a Wesleyan University poll showed most state residents feel they have not been kept abreast of major policies enacted in recent years.
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