Nicole Bialko of Columbus is among the one-in-six women who've experienced stalking. And she's sharing her story to encourage other victims to stand up to stalking.

When a relationship that started online turned emotionally toxic, Bialko tried to end it. She said her former boyfriend started harassing and following her, even entering her apartment when she was out of town.

Despite her efforts to ignore him, including blocking hundreds of email addresses and phone numbers, he persisted. So Bialko contacted authorities.

"Trust your instincts, never excuse a red flag," said Bialko. "And if you find yourself making excuses for this individual, feeling unsettled, feeling isolated, maybe what you could do you're not doing anymore, things you enjoyed - there's a problem."

Bialko said she hopes to help other abuse victims free themselves from the fear of stalking. Her advice includes setting firm boundaries, collecting evidence, seeking legal advice about getting a Civil Protective Order, being vigilant about personal safety and maintaining a support system.

Bialko said the police took her seriously, but feels her case was diminished in the courts. In a plea deal, her former partner's charges of felony menacing by stalking; burglary and a protective order violation were reduced to a misdemeanor of criminal mischief.

Bialko said just like physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse is terrifying.

"If you're scared, you're scared out for a reason," said Bialko. "So there's something that individuals doing that's causing you that fear, but there's no tangible evidence. Because I can't show you a picture of a black and blue eye, I don't think it's taken as seriously. "

Caroline Anderson is the communications coordinator with the Ohio Domestic Violence Network. She encouraged friends and family members of survivors to be as supportive as possible and understand that it's difficult for a victim of abuse to simply walk out the door.

"Why didn't you leave sooner? I hate that question," said Anderson. "Why did she stay? I hate that question as advocate. She stayed because she didn't know she was in an abusive relationship. She didn't know how to leave. And leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship. "

Anderson said most domestic-violence fatalities in Ohio occur when a survivor is in the process of ending the relationship or has already left.

The Ohio Domestic Violence Network can direct stalking survivors to local resources. There also is an easy-to-use chat feature at odvn.org for assistance.

January is National Stalking Awareness Month.

May is Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month, and according to the Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence, the number of Asian American women who have experienced sexual violence could be as high as 55%.

Monicah Yonghang, bilingual advocate with Asian Services in Action Ohio, explained various cultural barriers prevent many API survivors, including immigrants and refugees, from reporting sexual violence and accessing services.

"We also noticed that they internalized a traditional gender norms," Yonghang pointed out. "Meaning that the men have more power over women, and some violence against women are just justified and OK."

The Immigrant and Refugee Ohio Coalition to End Sexual Assault hosts a conference May 26 on sexual violence and the best ways to serve communities and survivors.

Leela Karki, another bilingual advocate with Asian Services in Action Ohio, noted concerns about public shame also factor into women's hesitancy to seek help.

"There is a fear that oh, if I get added to that data, like other people, I'm going to be exposed to other people," Karki stressed. "They're gonna find out that it happened to me because the community itself is so intertwined together."

Taylr Ucker-Lauderman, chief officer of communications and engagement for the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence, said it is important for advocacy groups to take into account specific cultural needs when providing services.

"We find it extremely important to uplift the work and voices of those in various cultures, and especially people of color in the immigrants and refugees," Ucker-Lauderman emphasized. "We believe this is truly integral to ending sexual violence and serving survivors in our state."

Research shows sexual assault has many long-term impacts on women, including increased risk of chronic pain, diabetes, depression, suicide, and substance abuse.

Washington state Supreme Court justices are hearing a case today
that involves access to records for public employees who have survived domestic violence or sexual assault. The conservative think tank Freedom Foundation has said exemptions to the Public Records Act are being applied too broadly for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking or harassment.

Deirdre Bowen, Professor and director of Seattle University's Family Law Center, said lower courts have seized on the fact that the unions who sought to stop these requests did not detail the potential harm for everyone seeking an exemption.

"They did not have evidence for each of the 1,000 different survivors saying if your information were to be released, it would create substantial, imminent physical harm to you," Brown said.

Bowen added there are a number of factors that will determine the outcome of this case, but one important factor is that the definition of domestic violence changed last July. Along with physical harm or the threat of physical harm, it also includes coercive control. Bowen said exemption cases might need to be reanalyzed under this new definition and added this case is an example of where the law fails survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.

"The tragic part is there's no willing to understand the nature of how domestic violence operates and that these survivors are most at risk actually when they've exited the relationship," she said.

Bowen noted that harm from domestic violence cases can go on for years or decades and can escalate over time and explained the right to public information is not the only right at stake in this case. There's also the constitutional right for safety and protection from bodily harm.

"The ultimate question is which is more important?," she said. "Are we willing to risk that constitutional right versus access to public records?"


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A grant has been awarded to a Central Indiana group to increase awareness about domestic violence and its traumatic effect on survivors.

Indiana domestic abuse reports involving intimate partners topped 6,000 in 2021, up from nearly 5,700 the previous year.

The Domestic Violence Network received nearly $233,000 from the City of Indianapolis and the Indianapolis Foundation.

Rebecca Berry, strategic collaboration specialist for the Domestic Violence Network, said the funding will be used to create a three-year strategic plan to address the demographics with the highest rates of domestic violence, although she noted it can happen to anyone.

"It doesn't matter what kind of job you have, it doesn't matter what kind of partner you have, it doesn't matter how much money you have," Berry pointed out. "Domestic violence does not discriminate."

The Institute for Women's Policy Research reported around 31% of women will experience domestic violence. For Black women, it increases to 40%.

Berry noted the definition of abuse has broadened to include more than physical and sexual violence. Stalking, withholding access to phones or birth control, harming pets, and manipulating a partner's emotions, finances or social media presence can be equally damaging.

A person being abused is often hesitant to seek help out of fear, shame or not having a place to escape. But during the pandemic, some Indiana shelters were under capacity due to shutdown safety protocols, according to a 2020 report by the state.

Berry explained the grant funding will be used for outreach to those who may be in unhealthy relationships.

"We want to link in trauma, and the ways that we have grown up, the ways that we have experienced our lives as children," Berry outlined. "So many times, those who are causing harm or perpetuating violence in an intimate partner relationship have also experienced a household where there is also domestic violence."

Service providers for abuse survivors also note they're seeing more cases involving the use of guns. The Domestic Violence Network said in 2020, 33 out of 41 domestic violence-related deaths involved a firearm.


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