Knowing how to approach the grief of others can be difficult, although things can get more complicated when addressing the grief of students in school settings.
Estimates indicate that nearly 7% of children in the U.S. will experience the death of a sibling or parent by the age of 18. Overcoming the cultural taboo around dealing with grief is especially important for teachers and other education personnel.
Gilly Cannon, director of the Children's Bereavement Services at Caring Matters in Gaithersburg, said it's important for educators and families to work together to support a grieving child at school.
"If schools were going to do three things," said Cannon, "they need to show that they care about the students, I want them to show that they can listen deeply without judging, and I'd want them to let the student know that school is a safe place for them to be present in, with their grief."
She said listening without judging involves being able to really hear the other person without needing to share your own experience, or making a judgment about the validity of the other person's feelings.
During these conversations people have to deal with their own impulse to want to fix things for the other person, or put a positive spin on the situation. Cannon recommended against both, and said people should begin by acknowledging what's happened.
"Let them know that you've heard that their person has died, and that you are very sad about that news," said Cannon. "So you're showing them that you are acknowledging it, you're aware of it, what you don't want to then do is to try and make them feel better."
Cannon said she believes that educators need to maintain the institutional awareness of the child's experience of loss, and ensure it travels with them during their school years.
"When a child is grieving," said Cannon, "you need to ensure that as they move from class to class and grade to grade and school to school, that you're passing on that information that this child has had a significant loss, because children revisit their grief as they grow. Their grief morphs and changes as they get older and they have milestones without that person."
Cannon also recommended that people avoid well intentioned clichés such as the idea of the deceased person "being in a better place" or that they wouldn't want to see them cry.
She says these kinds of clichés imply that a grieving person should feel better and hold back their tears, but the message communicated to the grieving person is that their feelings are not valid.
"You don't want to diminish any of their feelings," said Cannon. "You want them to be able to say how they're feeling. And also to know that there's no good or bad feelings, there's feelings. There's no judgment on how they're feeling."
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A new report focuses on "girl power" in Indiana - with an analysis of how young girls are faring in the state, and recommendations for improving their lives.
Using Kids Count data, the Girl Coalition of Indiana found girls under 18 are experiencing trauma and mental-health concerns at rates higher than boys - from bullying and depression, to dating violence and a lack of emotional support.
In one survey, eight in 10 girls said neighbors "don't notice" or encourage them when they do a good job. Mackenzie Pickerrell, executive director of the coalition, described the purpose of sharing these findings.
"Being deeply embedded into communities to understand from their perspective," said Pickerrell, "what girls need to thrive, and what are the barriers for their girls to live their best lives."
The coalition plans to create programming in partnership with the six Indiana Girl Scout councils to make headway on some of the areas of concern.
This first-ever "Indiana Girl Report" was compiled in collaboration with the Indiana Youth Institute. It's available online at 'girlcoalitionindiana.org.'
Other findings in the report: In 2022, Indiana's middle and high school girls reported feeling a sense of hopelessness or depression for two weeks or longer. One in four "seriously considered" suicide.
Girls are twice as likely to be victims of traditional bullying, and three times as likely to face cyberbullying, compared to boys. Pickerrell noted what could be one reason behind these statistics.
"Girls experience mental and emotional pressures at a much higher rate," said Pickerrell, "and a very different reality than boys do."
She added that the report produced some positive data as well. Girls in Indiana are achieving academically at a stronger pace than boys, including higher high school graduation rates.
They're more likely to obtain advanced degrees. And nine out of ten girls say they have at least one caring adult or mentor in their lives, other than their parents.
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A recent ruling from the Washington state Supreme Court lowers the barriers for bringing some childhood sexual abuse cases to court.
Justices unanimously ruled that the three-year statute of limitation for these cases applies from the date of discovery of each element of the case. Seattle-based attorney Nate Roberts of the Connelly Law Offices said that, for instance, if someone in their mid-twenties suffers psychologically because of childhood abuse, they have three years to file a claim against their alleged abuser. He added that there are more situations where the Wolf decision applies.
"If they find out in their thirties, for example, that they were a ward of the state at the time of the abuse and the state knew they were being abused and didn't intervene," he said, "then they would have three years from the date they acquire that knowledge in which to file a lawsuit against the state."
Roberts said this makes more sense than applying the three-year statute of limitation to the date of the abuse.
Washington state lawmakers are considering eliminating the statute of limitations for childhood sexual abuse cases completely. Roberts said other states have already done this.
"The insidious thing about sexual abuse and physical abuse of children is that the kids don't necessarily understand the scope or degree of harm sometimes ever, but often until much later in life," he said, "and I think a simpler, more equitable rule would be to say that if you're the victim of childhood abuse, you can bring the lawsuit whenever you're ready to do so."
House Bill 1618 was introduced in the Legislature this year and passed in the House but died in the Senate. It will be up for consideration again in 2024.
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The Keystone State has some work to do to provide more access to quality pre-Kindergarten programs for the youngest Pennsylvanians.
Only 43% of eligible 3- and-4-year-olds are in high-quality, publicly funded pre-K, leaving more than 87,000 without access, according to the new "State of Early Care and Education in Pennsylvania" report.
Maggie Livelsberger, policy director for Pennsylvania Partnerships For Children, said young children need access to programs preparing them to start Kindergarten. But she points out that inadequate funding for child care has led to issues of supply and demand, affecting a family's ability to find care they can afford.
"It also impacts child care providers, and their ability to be compensated fairly, to pay their teachers and maintain their business expenses," Livelsberger outlined. "We are living in a world where there is a very historic workforce shortage within the child care system, and a lot of that is due to unlivable wages."
Livelsberger added in the Keystone State, child care center workers earn on average less than $12.50 an hour, or less than $26,000 a year. The report recommended the state increase funding for the child care sector, and develop a pay system to put pre-K teachers on par with K-12 teachers with similar education levels.
Livelsberger acknowledged child care providers have benefited from supplemental stimulus funding the state received, and there is some new money in the state budget for child care. But she insists more is needed.
"Child care has historically been underfunded," Livelsberger emphasized. "Even though there are new funds for child care in this budget, it's not nearly enough to be able to combat this workforce shortage that the sector is facing. And that's really closing classrooms and not allowing families to access that care."
The report recommends the state's Office of Child Development and Early Learning produce a report every three years to give what it calls a "clear picture" of the early-childhood workforce and recommend ways to expand and improve it.
Disclosure: Pennsylvania Partnerships for Children/Kids Count contributes to our fund for reporting on Children's Issues, Early Childhood Education, Education, and Health Issues. If you would like to help support news in the public interest,
click here.
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