NASHVILLE, Tenn. - The divorce rate in the United States continues to fall, but a large percentage of couples still call it quits despite their vows of "for better or worse."

The reasons can vary as much as the individuals involved, although experts say there are ways to safeguard a marriage, especially when children join the family.

Babies and children can bring stresses ranging from a lack of sleep to extra expense and housework, said marriage counselor Patricia Mackie, so it is vital for two parents to be on the same page.

"If parents aren't really talking about how they're going to raise their children - they're not talking about their style, they're not in agreement on what they're doing, whether it's attachment parenting or any other style of parenting - that's very difficult on a marriage," she said.

Another key to getting through those first few years with children, Mackie said, is making sure fathers aren't left feeling like a "third wheel," as sometimes can happen.

"What research shows is the more that dads are involved, the more they get involved in the parenting and the daily lives of their children and playing with their kids and their wives together, the better their marriages are," she said. "So, I think that's just a crucial piece, as far as marriage goes and attachment parenting, is that dads have to be involved."

While children can bring challenges to a marriage, Mackie noted, couples with children actually have a lower divorce rate than do those without them.

"One of the things that research is also showing is that couples that share a family-centered view of family life and value raising children (are) more emotionally invested in each other," she said, "and they're less prone to divorce than those couples who don't have children or who don't necessarily value that family life and the raising of the children."

The biggest issue marriage counselors now are seeing is technology, Mackie said, as more laptops, iPads and cell phones are adding distractions - even in the bedroom.

The divorce rate in America peaked at around 50 percent in the 1980s and slowly has been trending downward. It is now slightly more than 40 percent.

More information is online at attachmentparenting.org.


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Ahead of Mother's Day, one Kentucky middle-school student has received recognition for honoring his grandmother in a "Grandparent of the Year" essay contest sponsored by the Kentucky Retired Teachers Association and AARP Kentucky.

In his winning essay, P.J. Brock describes his grandmother Sue as "caring, kind, hardworking, selfless and loving."

Sue Beeler, 74, a retired teacher's aide, said she encourages all grandparents to nurture strong relationships with their grandchildren.

"You get closer to 'em," she said, "and the kids appreciate you more, and do stuff more for you when they grow up."

According to the group Kentucky Youth Advocates, 55,000 kids in the Commonwealth, or an estimated 6%, live with a relative that isn't their biological parent, and is often a grandparent. That's among the highest rates in the nation.

P.J. presented his essay to an audience of 300 retired educators at a ceremony in Louisville, and won a $500 award.

May is Older Americans Month, and P.J.'s mom, Ashley Beeler, said she's grateful Sue has been recognized for her dedication to her family. She noted that her mother stepped in to help raise P.J. during times of crisis, which helped strengthen the bond between grandson and grandmother.

"It was just a hard time," she said, "but, I mean, we've got past it now. We're doing good, the kids and I, and mom."

Nationwide, grandparent caregivers often face financial burdens, housing instability, food insecurity and mental-health struggles. One report by Generations United found about 31% of children growing up in grand-families live in poverty, compared with 18% of children living with parents. And nearly half of all grandparents raising grandchildren are no longer in the labor force.

As Ohio approaches National Foster Care Month in May, one family's journey highlights how therapeutic foster care can change lives.

A 12-year-old boy who was previously moved between multiple residential facilities found hope when a familiar face from his past stepped forward.

Gretchen Emch, adoption assessor for the Columbiana County Department of Job and Family Services, recalled how it began.

"She was actually a behavior specialist at his school; said that this young man reminded her of her younger brother," Emch recounted. "They connected very well, and she wanted to try and visit him and figure out what to do."

The behavior specialist and her husband became licensed treatment foster parents through Ohio's pilot program, which funds therapeutic care to keep children with trauma out of group settings and closer to community. Critics argued the program still needs more staffing and funding to meet statewide demand.

Patrick, the boy's foster father, advised anyone with a spark of interest in fostering to reach out to county organizations. He said their family has been guided and supported every step of the way and fostering has deeply enriched their lives.

"If you show any interest, they will help guide you through the entire process," Patrick explained. "It was super helpful. And honestly, it's a blessing having this new face in our home, this new life in our home and having to teach each other experiences and tell stories and this, that, and the other. It's been amazing."

The Treatment Foster Home Pilot, launched under Gov. DeWine, now funds 11 county collaboratives in Ohio.

Advocates said stories like this show what's possible but emphasized the state must ensure sustainable support if it hopes to recruit more families for youth with complex needs.


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At Thanksgiving, millions of Americans will see relatives who may be on the other side of the political divide for the first time since the election and experts have some tips for approaching the conversation.

Emma Nadler is a therapist, speaker and author of the book "The Unlikely Village of Eden." She suggested people consider what their overall goal is for the evening -- and the relationships -- and respond accordingly.

"When you feel yourself getting angry, frustrated, take a few seconds to consider, 'How do I honor my purpose here? What do I want to say next that brings me back to why I'm here at this holiday?'" Nadler recommended.

The group Braver Angels promotes civil political discussions. It suggested people focus on finding out where the other person is coming from, without putting him or her on the defensive, and try to find common ground before stating an opposing viewpoint.

Nadler added if the conversation takes a wrong turn, it is best to take a long pause, maybe pitch in with the dishes or take a walk rather than let things get nasty.

"Anyone can say and do things they regret," Nadler stressed. "It takes about at least 20 minutes of non-activating conversation to get back to your baseline regulation. So it's not two minutes."

Some families may choose to send out an email ahead of time to set the tone for the holiday, in hopes the Thanksgiving gathering will be about enjoying the time together, where people include and respect each other regardless of political viewpoints.


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